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About Us

Just trying to stay busy

I’m just a career fireman who wanted to make a small business out of his favorite hobbies.  I have a 600 square foot shop set up for wood working, laser cutting/etching, 3D modeling and fabrication.

Luckily my career as a fireman allows me quite a bit of time off, since our schedule is 24hrs on and 48hrs off.  I use the days off to make things and keep my dog out of trouble.

 

 

OR…. as a friend more eloquently described it;

“Sixteen iterations off anything that could be recognized as using any of his potential or making his parents proud, there’s a barking “fireman” that works more with wood and food grade plastics than his biology degrees.

His name is Simple Brandt, but he’s no dummy.

He realized long ago that the greatest thing he’d ever create was a heap of melted plastic that resembles a Star Wars droid.

In a 600 square foot shed, that moment is forever happening stuck in a loop through Simple Brandt’s unbridled desire to never conform to societies norms, or to mature past his prime.

You can capture for a min the feeling of the chemicals that run through his brain daily by buying some of this childish garbage. You gave up on a life of freedom long ago, but (secretly for a few hours every couple of months) you can come home to the impossible flavor of Brandt’s own completion. Come home to Simple Brandt Builds.”

WHY CHOOSE US

Free Shipping over $40

Free shipping on any orders over $40 to the contiguous USA

Support Small Businesses!

I’m a one man operation, a business can’t get any smaller than this!

Quality Guarantee

I take pride in my work and only make top quality items.  You’re going to like what you get, but in the rare case where you may have an issue, I will work with you to resolve it.

HAPPY CLIENTS

Walker DunBear

Walker DunBearPrinciple Happiness Producer - Whiskey Distillery

It’s like I always say;

Well then get your shit together, get it all together and put it in a back pack, all your shit, so it’s together… And if you gotta take it some where, take it somewhere, you know, take it to the shit store and sell it, or put it in the shit museum. I don’t care what you do, you just gotta get it together.

…Get your shit together.

Artur Hawking

Artur HawkingBox Engineer - Unhealthcare Govt Contracts

Oh, I love me Strawberry Smiggles! Ooh, I hope nobody ever gets my hands on me, and tries to steal my Strawberry Smiggles. I’m going to eat every last one of them, because and then they’ll be in my stomach, and nobody will ever be able to eat them. Except for me, because they’re going to be all inside my stomach. I’m my name is Mister Top Hat Jones, and God forbid anyone ever take my sniggy, little pig-dul smiggles. I’m keeping ’em all for me. Last bite. Oh, now they are all resting comfortably in my stomach. Ooh, am I feeling good. No! Get away from me! Get away from me and my Strawberry Smiggles! No! Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! It hurts! My entrails are out! Why would you even want to eat these? They’re soaked with my stomach acid! Oh, Jesus Christ! Lord and savior and spirit! Save me! Take me to the light! Oh, my God, I see Demons! I see demons are coming!

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CUSTOMERS
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EMPLOYEE… I’m so lonely…
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HR
SUPPORT AVAILABLE, Please call. Again… very lonely
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CUPS OF COFFEE. Don't even ask about my Adderall prescription
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POSITIVE REVIEWS. The 0.6 belonged to people named ``Karen`` and ``Chad``
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